I am quite fortunate in that I have several ‘lads’ groups…I’ve got my workmate lads group, my old skool lads crew, my army lads and my actor lads!
This allows me to be mad, loud, brash, emotional, crazy, rude, aggressive and best of all, myself amongst people who I trust with my life!
Admit it, we all act differently with our mates than the way we do around our family and loved ones (I do try to be the same all the time but that’s why some people will just never get me!).
How often have we heard the phrase “why do you behave like that when you’re with the lads?”
When I am with the lads, no topic is taboo, no put down is too harsh. When one of us is down we won’t instantly think we need to ‘pick them up’ (that shit comes later), first we sense their weakness, and in true ’lad’ spirit we will seek to exploit their self-pity and self-loathing to get one up on the muppet for being such a sap, to make the crew laugh and make the person in question feel worse. Then they will eventually stop being a little bitch and join in, and the usual bants will resume!
Yeah sure on some 1:1 occasions where we find ourselves alone with one of the lads who is going through a particularly tough time, we will look after them, listen to them a bit whilst watching the football in the background, possibly even let them cry (sometimes and within reason, there are fucking rules and a time and a place for that shit!) and we might even tell some of the others in our group so they can share the burden (usually the oldest and wisest…or most sober that day) but we have much better ways to snap anyone out of their sadness…#banter #drinking #strippers #meetnewpeople #makethecall #hashtag (not sure I should be using hashtags when I don’t have a twitter account nor do I actually know what they mean #whatsthepointofTwitter…just trying to relate to the younger ones in my crew!).
We blokes can sometimes be labelled as emotionless beings, or sometimes that we show too much emotion! Sometimes we are too aggressive and sometimes we are too weak. Sometimes we are too spiritual and other times we aren’t in touch enough with our inner being! Too macho, too feminine. We talk too much or not enough, we are too happy or too miserable, too flash or too cheap…the list goes on and on and on!
We ain’t that fucking clever to be all these things! We are black and white. What you see is what you get.
We will look the same on a night out as we will the next morning too (side note to all the girls who comment on a blokes looks when they are covered head to toe in fake tan and makeup, squeezed into a corset or a push up bra and wearing the sort of clothes that they will never wear any other time…remember that, that guy who is a 6 or 7 out of 10 now will still be looking like that tomorrow…those girls can go from a 9 to a 4 with one swipe of a wet wipe!!)
Why do we behave the way we do when we are with the boys? I think it’s because they let us do what we need to and be who we are without putting us in a particular bracket that needs to be changed!
Yes we can be like that with our partners, sure, but as I said already, eventually, we will start to get the comments that we are ‘too much or too little’ of something and it’s about time we changed/grew up/sorted it out blah blah blah!!
Being with the lads is like a man with Peter Pan syndrome who wants to behave like a boy forever (or at least in the small pockets of time with the lads or in the confines of his man cave if he is fortunate enough to have one)!
Sure the other lads judge us at times, but they will tell us about it to our face and that will be that we move on! No snide remarks behind anyone’s backs or talking about someone in our group badly to try and create sides! (additional side note…girls this is what happens in a lot of ‘girls girls girls’ groups…and I mean A LOT!)
Sure we argue and fight, but then we get over it, have a beer and move on!
99% of blokes aren’t difficult creatures to understand…we like copious amounts of alcohol and when we drink we get rowdy and a bit twat-ish. When we get attention, no matter how Fugly that person is, we get excited that someone wants to actually talk to us in our bleary-eyed state and appreciate it in a way girls just don’t understand! Not because we are trying to get in their knickers all the time (this is a 60/40 split) but because having girls around us, makes it that little bit more fun and interesting! We always have a mate who is single and desperate who will cop off with the ugly fat one in your group too, so it’s a win-win all round! And yes, we all know about the ‘fit girl fat best mate’ ratio…we plan accordingly too.
We tend to like sport in one form or another and we usually follow a team who will make us have similar emotional outbursts where we will be happy and satisfied one minute and the next we will hate you, the world and everyone in it! One can only compare this to the difference between a girl being on a period or not I guess?
That comment too controversial eh? Well not in a lads group it’s not and that’s my point! We say stupid stuff that makes no sense and is blatantly wrong but our mates will laugh about it (laughing at us or with us, who cares) and we will get the affirmation we belong to a group of like-minded individuals…WE BELONG!
Lads groups are our safe space, our chance to be inappropriate without judgement and to hear honest opinions, not fake ones. We may look like we are rowdy and unapproachable but whenever an outsider gets involved in a convo (male or female) with one of our group, we will rally round them, get them drinks, offer group protection (as long as they are not a complete twat!), hug them and lick them and welcome them to the circle of banter! There is nothing better than inducting new members with shots of Jager and Sambuca then watching that person spew their guts up, piss themselves and then crack on getting involved for more…that’s what we do! Lads Lads Lads!
I am not condoning lads behaviours all the way, we can be complete twunts, especially when we go abroad, but that’s a whole other story! And we do get into ‘pack mentality’ when one of the group is in trouble, but the majority of us are just out to get bungalowed, dribble, cuddle, drink, laugh, cuss, be loud and pass out! That’s not really a bad thing, is it!!??
On that note, Ocsko ‘The Lad’ out!
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